charli beck

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Sep 5 2024

Small Form Foraging

I got curious
On the patio in the morning sun looking down at the tree debris of pre-autumn around my feet
I decided to follow one curiosity, led by a memory from the time I lived beneath Jeffery pines
Sitting beneath the Doug fir, I picked up one of its seeds
So small and thin, almost unnoticeable among the pollen cones
Especially small compared to the seeds of other pines
Nevertheless, I lifted its tiny thin shell, 
    brushed away its wing, the one that carried it safely to the ground, 
        and pressed it between my teeth
A tiny crack
A tedious pulling back of two halves with the tips of my fingernails 
I discovered the seed inside
And ate it

    And it brought me home

A flavor familiar to a time in my life when all I would do for weeks was 
Scrounge the earth for tiny brown ovals, plump with life, and stow them in a jar
A meal for later
Never fully a meal, but always a great achievement to fill a jar 
And a special treat to find the ones that still held something to eat,
    not yet dried out by the sun or taken by tiny bugs 
I often worried, while gathering, that I might be competing with the squirrels, 
   taking what they needed but I did not
I took only some of what I found, 
    broadened the range of my collection as far as my childhood boundaries would allow me to travel, 
        left what I hoped was enough

Now, we call the autumn squirrels “fat fats” 
(because they are but also because the word “squirrel” sets off the dogs)
And I know they have enough 

I learned this year that squirrels frantically bury food all around town, 
So much food, and they don’t remember where they bury it 
    but they bury so much that they are able to get lucky in finding enough again later on
I don’t know, but I think they might not be eating primarily Doug fir seeds
I wasn’t sure anyone would eat Doug fir seeds, 
    they’re so tiny
But I took a chance and found that someone could
Though it wouldn’t go very far

Only all the way home, on the lucky strike of a memory


©Copyright 2024 Charli Beck